For once in a lifetime, definitely there is once.

Owh, why with the title again?..was it like “OMG, syafiq, are you in trouble again?”…or maybe “shoot, you have just book a direct flight to hell, first class seat with full bottle of champagne”…so how’s that sound? I believe it was not a strong metaphor if I’m trying to describe the atmosphere now, but it kind of blended in. I gotta say that I pretty messed up this time and it was not the usual thing I’d done. In my defense, I didn’t plan on doing that. It was happened out of straight mind. I know I was wrong and am not sure if I deserve forgiveness or not, and I didn’t blame you for that. For once, can you just have a thought that people got slipped at least once and maybe this time it was mine. If memory served, I think you’ve been in that situation too, but yet, maybe you are not in a position to be mad, so you were begging for forgiveness. But this time it was you who is in charge of the power, so I beg for your forgiveness. I know its hard, it was traumatic, and a very big deal, but eventually the clog will go pass the drain. And I was hoping for the same too. I mean I love you as what we have before time and hoping for the things to get normal back as usual. Well that was only hope, but whether it going to be happened or not, is depend on you. I’ve played my part, now the show is waiting for you to get on stage. You know that show doesn’t go just by standing still or without the character. I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me, for real…

Life is Simple

I feel compelled to write, somehow things happened recently evolved around so many people inside my circle. I was like trapped in a bubble that I can see things but I can do nothing. Well, breaking up is a common word now that it not only happen to me, but almost half of my friends. Yeah, I do admit the impact is huge and how positive it will be is depend on how far you go to end the season, and the hardest part is that when you learn how to walk again from your past. I’m so grateful that at time I was barely breathe, came this one person that’s healing. One and half month after that, we tie the knot and became a couple. This person is a miracle. Until now, it’s already been a month, we are doing fine and small fight over few silly things is normal. Well, the thing is that, it is subjective for committing with a person you barely knew. It’s true that in certain cases, it won’t take long for it to end. I say THINK if you want to get along with this kind of relationship not because I’m totally off about it. It just that I don’t want they regret on their final word for not thinking further mile. Whatever thought that I might have given to people involved, they were just some advice that might be relevant on what are they going through at current time. I won’t say no because I’m in the same boat too. Just that in my case, I might be lucky that finally I found someone who really loves me just in time after I broke up, but for others, we won’t know. It could be good, it could be bad. When you’ve think it through, just do it and don’t look back because if it happen, you might reconsider things and it will affect everything. And love is not just about holding hands and walking together in the street, but it is more about sharing things that are seen or unseen.

I’m being single again…

Finally the truth was revealed

It is now official that I am no longer in a relationship

I am sad, I am mad

Hopefully things will be better for me soon

5 months and 19 days,

At least I lasted that long,

Giving all I have in me.

I’ve been a good partner,

and now we’ll see…

If I can be a good loner.

Am feeling upside down…

Not long enough after I am breathable, now I am suffocating back. The dissapearance does not mean that I was not around, but it was just that I am trying to find who are my trueself and what am I doing along my living days. Well, came out from the hidden, I learned that what have I done before only taught me even less. I tend to forget that people changed over few silly things, that no matter how hard I am pulling myself to get in, but that person always trying hard to push me out. At least that is how I feel at this particular time. I did not update, not because I don’t want to, but the emotion that dragged me out of the desire, it was so uncontrollable. Sometimes I am doing fine, but most of the time, I’m worse. I keep thinking for whatever wrongs  I have done, I didn’t chose for me to ended up that way. Everything that happened or going to, does have their own history, and the same thing goes to mine. Life is sacred, but truth are beneath the surface. See if you can see, or dig if you really cannot see, but just sit and do nothing if you really didn’t care. For me, I’ve tasted the most of my life, and if now is the time when the alarm is saying enough, then I will retreat myself in. There are no other thing to be argued of. I,ll be silent, and take it as a fate. Things are happen for good, and that is how I live now.

Look at that person. He gave you all his heart and love to you that even human are unthinkable of doing it. Before you say anything that he might already know, think of few things, just few things that if you can answer it, then he won’t be in your way anymore.

Think of how much do you love him before and now.

Think of songs that you gave him just to say how happy are you to be with him.

Think of how many good times you had with him.

Think of how far you will go before you lose him.

Think of what it takes to replace him with someone else.

Lastly,

Think of how would he live without you.

people made promises but promises are mend to be broken. It takes only a second before I dissapear in your glance. Imagine if you have only a minute, you might have lose me for sixty times already, and that is the exact reason why I wrote this, because I know that now not only a minute you think of me, not a single glance too I was in your head. Look at me in the eyes and say those words. I will hear, and I will go. Peacefully.

Thanks dear for the great time.

You’ve been such a good lover

- GOODBYE -

Is about to leave…

It’s already 1.52am in the morning, and I’m in the middle of nowhere but my bed. Suddenly I feel empty inside of me but yet I don’t really know how to let the feeling go away. Maybe it’s because of the leaving tomorrow morning. Yeah!! It was definitely it. I really don’t feel like going.

But where to?

I was posted to Kempas Edible Oil (KEO) and scheduled to report for duty this monday morning. Tomorrow I,ll leave for JB, leaving all that I got here at home. Well, I gotta say that it is one of the good move for my future but somehow I am not sure about myself for being ready or not to face all the challenges. Sometimes I’m so eager to fight the spirit, but when “that” time comes, I became weak. And, because of that feeling, although I,ll leave tomorrow morning, I am all 0% packed up, 100% laziness. Feels like taking all the stuffs and dump them into the car’s boot, and yeah!!!thats it, one problem solved. Heh!!, we’ll see what are going to happen tomorrow morning.

Is where I am going....

By time I wrote this entry, I kept on playing “Leaving on a jetplane” of kJewel version. I don’t know but somehow this song suits my mood at this particular moment. Not being overwhelmed of that sad feeling about leaving but it was more about how I try to calm myself and act as if nothing is gonna affect me at the end. Hell yeah syafiq!!!thank you for lying to yourself. Haha, and now the thought are mixed up. happy plus the miserable parts and now I begin to go crazy.

so kiss me, and smile for me,

Tell me that you’ll wait for me,

Hold me like you’ll never let me go…

Coz I’m leavin on a jetplane,

I Don’t know when I,ll be back again,

Owh babe,..I hate to go…

I hope that explains all. And the fact that now I,m feeling far away from my November Rain, that could be one of the reason too. Maybe if you can be more supportive so I can be more happy to go. Give me one reason why should I go and meet you at the first place If this is how you’ve been acting these past few days. I just need you, and your smile. Other than that, spare it for your another life. IF you got one.

Well guys, talk and talk doesn’t make much different ain’t it?..I guess I’ll just give it a go, and leave whatever I feel tonight there and then. Kudos for me (“,)

Regards : Chuck

Am I a bad friend?

Today, I feel bad about myself. Maybe I shouldn’t say what I,ve said, but buddy trust me. I really do so because I was thinking that I need to make things right for you before anything goes wrong. And I’m sorry too if what I said might offended you, but truths are always hurt. I don’t want you to live in guilt or maybe a dream that might just look like happy ending for you but in the end, you lose everything. You might forget this, that I,ve promised to myself  I will always be by your side no matter how hard the time is, whatever it takes me to do, or how bad I might end at last. Yeah, maybe what I,ve said jus now might seems like I went behind your back and stab you from behind. A friend should support his friend in anything he want to do. But a good friend, always want you to do right things. And that is the only reason why I ask you to do whatever we discussed just now. It was not that I’m trying to stop you from doing things you want to, but sometimes in the course, we tend to forget that someone might hurt of what we are doing. Life is about balance, you can’t get all things you want. What you have now, is what you done before. For things that belong to others, we have to respect that and not going after it. I believe in karma that what goes around comes around. She done it to you before and you know exactly what it feels like, so don’t let it happen again to someone else. You can make a change by doing little good thing and that made you a better person. I’m sorry for disagree on you this time because I know you are a good person and please, stay that way. It’s a test for you that maybe in future, god will grace you with a better person.This is all I wanna say, I’m indeed sorry for upsetting you but choices are in your hand, either you wanna make a good move, or either way. For what I know, I am still your best friend no matter how bad people perceived at you. Life is all about learning, n I hope you learned yours too. I never told you this, but I used to love this one person and I still have that feeling until now. What I do is just keep a thought in my mind that as long as  that person live in me, it would be more than enough to make me happy. Sometimes happiness is just unseen, it is how you make them visible for yourself. That is how I deal with myself and you got to find one for yourself too. Please be happy for other reasons too, because she is not the only matter for you to live. Open all the doors and get yourself out there to explore wherever you never be at. Trust me, you’ll find your trueself there. Good day buddy!

Regards : Chuck

Duo

My duo picz taken during the MAP.

hot to go...me n sheeda

yani n me

el n me

syam n me

scandalous picz ever...afiq n me... :p

romantika of ima n me

dayana n me

din my roomie n me

intan me...relaxing

hosni n me

faten n her favourite artist...which is me :p

ke-on n me

ijad n me

extra trio pic - roomies of mine

elvino n me

I uploaded those picz just to share with my readers, of how much great times I had during that training programme. Well, it was not all about taking great picz, or posed for them, but it was much about how I mixed with them that finally I became very close to them. Yes it’s true that two weeks doesn’t really put me in a state of knowing every single thing about them, but more than enough to make us realize, that we need each other in our way to chase our dreams, and show how a lose tie tied into a nice knot. I love you guys!! Either you are in the picz, or not, all of you are always in my heart.

Regards : Chuck

Quickie

1. I took hudds challenge, of not being a typical blogger…so instead of wrote “its been very long since i update my blog…” im straightforwardly say wat is going to be said.
2. well, i jus finished my apprenticeship programme by sime darby at the palace.
3. n now wat left is the 11-months balance of the on-field training…
4. n following that, i was posted to jb at kempas edible oil.
5. plz be informed that i was caught on fever rite now (DAMN!!!I hate it)
6. berase mahu termuntah tatkala memilih gmbr utk di upload ke fb (click here to see it)
7. n well, those pic is about all my great times during the programme (miss it)..
8. i wud happy to say, my life is now more organized.
9. i begin to think of my future, what shud i do, n wat i shudnt…
10. currently i hav a balanced life…n by dat i meant of frenz, love, money,family n working soon.
11. I,ve made another cupcake dis time it was for iman’s birthday
12. I hav a few dates in my head now, n hopefully i wont forget them when the time is finally there…
13. is again lack of baju baru, so shopping is a must thing to do now…weehhooo!!! but not in a wasted way
14. my convocation day is 17th august 2009, so anybdy who wish to give me flowers, bears or any convocation token, u may do so during dat day, i’ll definitely be there…
15. those whom i said are in my treat list…no worries, i wont forget dat…jus wait for the time huh…
16. n finally, i love u….yeah u…n u…n u…n yeah…definitely YOU!!!

is history...

Welcome Chuck sagacious to his new place

Blogspot had grown him….

Into what he becoming now.

Welcome WORDPRESS…

As I promised to myself,

To keep myself blogging.

will do.